The next best kid in town!

I believe that there is a fear that is so overlooked, so
powerful that we cringe deep inside every time we come close to it. I do not
think it is the fear of death or losing something important, as these things
will happen and are accepted; but the fear of uncertainty. Not just any
uncertainty though, it takes a special personal and embarrassing fear to put us
on tilt. I speak of the fear of: "Plugging up the toilet at someone's
dwelling by way of dropping a Godzilla-sized deuce that just will not flush.”

We all have the unspoken etiquette not to drop a deuce in someone's house,
unless absolutely necessary. And by absolutely necessary you better have a
damned good explanation why they can’t go use their own bathroom due to the
fact that they will pass out upon opening the door to the porcelain throne of
relief. And even with good explanation you may be banned from this residence
due to the catastrophe that you unleashed.

 

We all know the routine. Do it fast, do it quick, and do it
when no one will notice. However, due to these thoughts, sometimes we forget
about other details. Here is a list of questions/thoughts on your mind:

 

1. Is there any toilet paper?

2. Is there enough toilet paper?

3. How many ply is this toilet paper?

4. Are there reserves of toilet paper somewhere hidden in
this bathroom?

5. I hope I do not destroy this sanctuary of peace with my
unholy load dropping.

6. I hope I don’t have mud butt.

7. I don’t think it will stink too bad.

8. It’ll be okay.

 

We find a progression of reassurance in our mind as we start
to think more. We feel by willing it to be a quick and dirty task that some how
we will escape unnoticed and undetected by evidence, until the beast is let
loose like the atomic bomb going off. We begin to panic and wonder if anyone
heard that enormous roar of a fart leave our bottom side hatch, but that is not
the worse of it. Oh no, there is the smell to contend with. Here we encounter
the next thoughts:

 

1. It wasn’t that loud was it?

2. There is a lot of noise going on out there, so I don’t
think anyone heard it?

3. It doesn’t smell too bad I don’t think.

4. Do they have air fresher or matches in here?

5. How big is the long brown trout?

6. Too many thoughts, must remember: Do it fast, do it
quick!

7. Wipe ass and get the hell out!

 

Almost in the clear so far we might have encountered some
major embarrassing moments to ourselves during the journey, yet have no idea if
anyone has figured this out on the other side of the door. We have relieved
ourselves and feel a million times better stand up and pulling up your pants or
fixing your dress; yes you ladies experience this too.

Then the moment of truth, the moment of silence, the moment
of prayer, and the moment of the toilet handle being pushed down. And you hold
it down hoping that in someway this will add more flushing power or let more
water run into the toilet. You may chant or start to will the log to go into
the hole and be gone forever. But the only thing on your mind is; IT’S NOT FLUSHING!!!!!!! THE WATER IS RISING!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!

At least it doesn’t overflow, but the water level is at the
rim of the toilet bowl.

 

 You begin to panic,
curse, and swear… the turd from hell as it sits lodged into the tiny hole that
it is supposed to go down. The tip of it pointing at you as if to taunt you in
the most glorifying way saying, “You wont get rid of me that easy.” These new
thoughts of anger and frustration begin to form and little do you know you have
spent a few minutes sitting there contemplating what to do. These thoughts are:

 

1. WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST FLUSH

2. WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS TOILET WITH SUCH A SMALL HOLE.

3. Calm down…

4. Do they have a plunger? (panic starts again)

5. They have to have a plunger? (panic developing)

6. WHERE IS THE F@&^ING PLUNGER! (PANIC ERUPTED *2^nd
Time)

7. Why do they have a toilet brush and no plunger (*mental
crying begins)

8. Maybe I can just use the toilet brush to smash it down
the toilet? (hopeless optimism begins)

 

You begin to smash the brown brick down into the hole along
with all the toilet paper and notice the water level is falling. A smile begins
to develop on your face. The duke of darkness curses you by saying, “It won’t
be the last time! I will have my REVENGE!” You begin to dance and flush the
toilet a second time and it washing away the rest. But it’s not over…

 

The toilet brush is covered in pieces of pieces of toilet
paper and chunks of nastiness. You think it be a good idea to leave it as is,
and place it back into the nifty housing from once it was taken from; like the
sword in the stone. This allows you to cover up the evidence, while leaving the
message of the next person to use it, usually someone’s mom, “Leave a plunger
in here next time.”

 

You manage to escape an embarrassing moment this time, but
always remember that Mr. Hankie will have his revenge!

 

And yes one day you will overflow the toilet.

 

Happy Flushing! =D

I have read a lot of blogs; some are directed toward a specific audience, a place to vent thoughts, a place to write random things you did or experienced, or a place to give your own reviews. Of course it is not limited to that, but that is a lot of what we can find most commonly on most blogs as I have witnessed. I denote and specify that my blog in fact in not any of those things, but all of them and more.

To me this is what a blog is:

People often have thoughts, emotions, feelings, experiences, ideas, revelations, and many other brain explosions and are often crammed up into our brains, which we tend to keep to ourselves. For a few of us, sharing these impulses is the best way to show or vent what is on our mind and through it, you can find out a lot about a person just from reading their blog. A blog is nothing more than an expression of a brain's orgasm.

Blog can be many things, but what is will always be is a piece of writing that will be shared over the internet, unless of course it is made private. It contains much more than just words and inner thoughts or desires. It contains more than just ramblings and venting. It contains more than just photos, videos, or music. It contains something that is intangible, transparent, and above all unquestionable stature. It contains everything and nothing all at once. Blogging contains quite simply life.

Life is what we experience it to be and though blogging we share life with one another. In life we experience many things and take interest in many things, much like blogging. We read and related to one another on levels that we never thought possible. We see and hear sights and sounds or all that is happening with life. If we are lucky to have smell-a-vision, we might even catch a whiff of its fragrance as well. Nonetheless we can experience more life through blogging while recording our own at the same time.

Limitations in life are abundant and plentiful with many walls, moats, and mountains making it a little difficult if not unsurpassable to overcome. Blogging has none. You can be the journalist, emotional expresser, commentator, news reporter, philosopher, player, or even a troll. You are as free as you wish to jot down and provide details to anything you want as long as you can live with the consequences of both good and bad dealings in cyberspace.

Keeping a log of what goes on in life or the random events that surround us day in and day out is something that our brain does for us as it records memories. And like memories we like to reminisce on them from time to time with friends, family or even strangers, but it is only what we can recall at that time in our life that we are able to share. Blogging also provides a historical account which does forget, despite the fact that sometimes we wish it would. A legend recorded is a memory that does fade and is able to be recalled at will, as long as an information superhighway connection and computer is available.

With records and accounts of what we choose to reveal to the world or one’s and zero’s also gives us hindsight into our lives. Where we came from, who we met, the places we have been, and where we want to be or strive to be from the past. An evolution of a person is contained within a blog; of course we have to continue to write in them for years to see this. It is exciting to read about and see how things turn out and how our thinking does or does not change. However, our record of the blog does not change, unless of course we use the edit button.

I choose not to use the edit button or delete my posts because that is a part of my life. I cannot delete my brain’s HD or modify my memories that have been recorded and I have been able to see how my life has changed throughout the years. I am proud of my posts as they are an expression of who I was, who I am, and what I hope for.  I accept my blog the way it is and the way it develops just as I have accepted life and its terms as it have gone through development as time goes by.

Blogging means quite simply “me.”

Best Song Ever (Mario Kart related that is.)

Since I started my interest in Christianity, and later becoming a follower, I
strived to follow and be as good as a Christian as I could be. I changed my
habits, attitude, and behavior so that I would be a stand up "Super
Christian," that I thought I was supposed to be. Until about a year and a
half ago, when I finally broke down due to the pressure I placed upon myself. I
couldn't take it. I tried so hard to become something that I thought I needed to
be. I have always been an extremist and totally committed to whatever I had
become involved with as to show that I am true to my cause and purpose. I it
just wasn’t worth it anymore to try so hard, but instead just be me.

 

Perfection is something I am always striving for within
myself, thus always willing to change who I am to achieve it. I thought about
it and came to the conclusion that if perfection is constant, and I am always
changing then I cannot ever be perfect, but only constantly improve through
change. A lot of people see that I go through drastic changes of lifestyle
throughout high school, college and now in my young career days. They have a
hard time relating to me as they feel like they know who I am inside, but don’t
see it from me on the outside like it once did when I was a kid.

 

I guess when the breakdown happened I decided that I was
going to stop trying so hard and do what I wanted to do. Instead of trying to
follow my bible as close to the letter as possible, I would be me and accept
that fact that I was made the way I am and so I should just go do, with reason,
as I saw fit. I decided that I had held myself back a lot from many
experiences; perhaps some good and some not so good. Since this time I have
discovered many things and met many new faces that I have shared most excellent
times with.

 

The straw that broke my bridge resulting in my breakdown was
losing Kristina, my girlfriend at the time, due to my actions and choices. It
was pretty evident that it was a huge blow to my pride and showed immensely in
my lack of motivation. I didn’t understand it when it happened or why it
happened, but I did get that it wasn’t a dream and life just dropped a duce on
me. It was then I left church right before service and called my best friend up
to talk.

 

Norvelle has been like a brother, if not just that to me
since I met him. He’s seen me go through a painful breakup before, but never
saw me just break down not able to handle a situation before. It was him I went
to after church that day and once again gave me the pep talk that I needed to
hear. He has always been there as I have screwed up and just gave me the “It’ll
be alright man” talk time and time again. When life has been crappy it has
always been nice to know that you got a bro to talk to and have a beer with.

 

After the pep talk I decided that I needed to step away from
church as a whole and gather myself. Since church was an emotional trigger that
would cause me pain I didn’t want to be around it as it would just set me off.
So I decided to take my journey outside the Christian bubble that I lived in
for the past 4+ years.

 

I decided to join a car club and tune my car as it was
something I really wanted to do in high school and figured I should do the
things I really wanted to do. I got to meet a lot of new friends and “family”
as we are that tight with one another. I went places that I never been before
and got to do a lot of fun things, like go to Apple Hill and participate in a
food eating contest. Apple pie has been the same since. I got my car in the
Scion commercial that came out a couple months ago which was really cool. I
love the sense, but honestly the drama sucks when it starts.

 

I remember a lot of people, encouraging me go to another
church or get plugged in elsewhere. I remember my mentor, Scott, taking me out
to sushi as a lot of people were worried about me as if I would do something
crazy like commit suicide or something. I remember Sunday school teacher, Jody,
taking me out to dinner and talking about what was going on. I remember Pastor
Steve met with me for coffee and asked me to be a trustee as I was nominated
and thought to be fit for the job. All of these things I am thankful for, but I
didn’t want to be around church at all as I was all mixed up inside. I knew
what I believed, but needed to figure out what I wanted to do.

 

Since all of this happened, it has been the first time I
have been single in years. I always have wanted to have someone close to me
care for. I learned that I needed to care about me and be happy with me first
before this can happen. I needed to understand that I had to be content with
who I am and what I wanted from life before I could share that with someone. I
needed to be whole as a person and accepting of who I am and what I am before
someone can appreciate who I am and love me for who I am, just like they want
me to do the same for them. Not something perfect, but love the imperfection.

 

I remember that I really wanted to get married at a young
age and have kids young so I could teach them how to play hockey or take them
camping so I wouldn’t be this worn out of guy that had back problems and could
play with my kids. I guess it was good to see that I had many opportunities to
take advantage of now that I am single and can be free to roam around and do
what I want. I don’t really have a plan, but to experience what I can while I
am young, cause I already missed out a lot.

 

I feel we can never plan everything out in life and that despite
that it flows like a river, from one body of water to another. We can enjoy the
ride of clam waters, rapids, or water falls knowing that it is always moving
and never stopping. The memories gained during the adventure make the river all
the more interesting and fun, but there is sadness and painful times as well. Life
is ever changing like this river, yet I think instead of water flowing, we rather
be a stone staying in one place as change is not always something we want to do
or accept.

 

Life is so complex... sometimes I wish it were just simple,
or is it I who make it complex?

I guess I figured out that I want to be me and nothing more.

 

I don’t even think this post makes sense but at least I
wrote down my thoughts.

I dont think I need to break down or explain why I waited so
long to open a savings account. I have been working for 2 years in my career
field and spent plenty of money here and there and justified not opening a saving
account for the simple reason that my debt’s interests dont out way that of a
savings account interest. Thus I figured I should just keep all my money in my
checking account and let it dwindle away as the bills come.

But like all things, I think something clicked today. I dont know how exactly,
but I think it is related to something that I picked up along the 26 years of
life. It all boils down to habits. In order to make it a habit to save, which I
dont have, I need to practice it. In the past I have justified against saving
as I would just pay off debts faster with more "liquid" moving in and
out of my checking account to bills and such. Kinda like reading the bible
everyday, gotta start doing it sometime to get into the habit.

 

I would get quite stressed when the checking account got low
and then wonder what I would do if I lost my job with no savings. So finally
and with great satisfaction I have opened an account with the encouragement of
my roommate. I also am making him responsible for asking me if I deposited some
of my paycheck into my savings, as well as asking me if I dip into it and steal
the savings.

 

10% a month should do well, but a min of $50 per check will
be enforced. Wish me luck with saving. It’s my first time! Be gentle! LOL
hahahahaha